initially designed by architects

and crafted by men who cared

men who took pride in their work

a one-way label

points to the mattresses

the ragged clothes left behind

itinerant visitors

spent a night

or spent a week

until they were discovered

or until they were kicked in their sleep

until someone stole their blanket

one-way

is there another way out

is there another possibility

can one go back

can the buildings go back

is there only one-way

the way of the bulldozer

one-way for the transients

leave the broken bottles

the dirty clothes

the dried up vomit

the aboriginal brown rats

and the stained

and musty mattresses behind

but where to go

where to wander

one-way to go

and one-way to wander

and one-way to be

and I take my picture

and I keep on moving

I don't want to be mugged

or jumped or cut

for my camera

with its ostentatious lens

I can't go back

I can't linger

I need to keep moving

only one-way to go

and I look over my shoulder

and I cross the street

and I keep on moving

and I keep on moving

and I have to remember

that even 20 years ago

there was only one-way out

J. Mac Donald

copyright 2005

Detroit I

A neighborhood that once was

but no longer is

Kercheval and Belvedere

grandpa built two houses

Dad Uncle Robert and Aunt Fanny

were born here

now it's a morning neighborhood

visit before noon

before everyone gets up and starts drinking

and hanging out

which house

we don't remember

the first five houses

are grassy fields two feet high

is it the gutted 2-story

or the one story next door

further up the block

more gutted skeletons

tar-paper brick siding

two stories—four families

good times and bad

many lives under collapsed and broken roofs

drive-by photos

trying to be inconspicuous

grandfather and grandmother

father

aunts and uncles

and neighbors

all dead

the evidence

the memories

only the grass remains

urban decline

the city becomes the country

vacant lots reclaimed for livestock

for crops

for open land

the earth revolves

the earth evolves

eventually skyscrapers and highways succumb

to the wind the rain and the grasses

the earth swallows and sighs

yet man digs another hole

pounds a few nails

mixes more cement

another shopette

and another strip-mall are born

vying for attention

in demographically designated grassy fields

J. Mac Donald

copyright 2005

PIANO

PIANO ON THE RADIO

MAKING MY THOUGHTS DANCE

ENVISIONING BILLOWING SAILS

AND THOUGHTS OF THE FRIDAY NIGHT CROWD

ON THE NUMBER FIFTEEN

MY FRIENDS DROVE ME HOME

AFRAID FOR MY OLD WHITE ASS

OUT ON EAST COLFAX ON FRIDAY NIGHT

ME, I WAS KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD

TO THE NIGHT AIR

TO THE EDGE AND THE RHYTHM

OF A FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE CITY

RESURGENCE

REMEMBERANCE

I LIKE FAST CARS AND FAST DANCING

I LIKED STANDING ON THE CORNER

OF JOHN R AND BRUSH

IN DETROIT IN THE HEART OF THE CITY

WHERE THE RHYTHM BEAT

AND THE PIANO WAS HONKEY TONK

AND I WAS WAITING ON JOHN R & BRUSH

THE CORNER FAMOUS FOR HOOKERS

I GOT SOME LOOKS

I WAS MORE AFRAID OF THE WOMEN

WHO MIGHT THINK I WAS STEALING

STEALING THEIR STAGE

THE JOHNS WERE READY

MY BOYFRIEND HAD JUST GONE TO GET THE CAR

SO I DIDN'T GET INTO TROUBLE

AT EIGHTEEN I WAS DEFIANT

I LIKED THE EDGE

AND I THRIVED ON THE RHYTHM

AND EAST COLFAX ON FRIDAY NIGHT

WOULD GIVE ME MY FIX FOR THE EDGE

EDGE OF DARKNESS AND DANGER

AND A GLIMPSE OF THE OTHER SIDE

THE OTHER SIDE OF MYSELF

THE SIDE THAT SHRUGS CONVENTION

THE SIDE THAT THINKS IT'S TOUGH

THE SIDE THAT GETS DOWN

THAT THINKS IT UNDERSTANDS THE STREET

THE SIDE THAT RELATES TO THAT RHYTHM

THAT UNDERSTANDS DIFFERENCE

AND RELATES BEST TO THE MENTALITY OF THE OTHER

I'VE CREATED MY OWN REALITY

I'VE BEEN THE OTHER

THE OTHER AMONGST OTHERS

AND THE OTHER THAT DOESN'T BELONG

THE KEY THAT FITS THE OLD LOCK

THE ONE WHOSE HEART BEATS

TO THE RHYTHM OF THE CITY

ONE WEEK IN THE FOOD STAMP OFFICE

ANOTHER WEEK IN GRADUATE SCHOOL

THE ONE WHO ON OCCASION

SIMULTANEOUSLY EXPERIENCES YIN AND YANG

THE RHYTHM OF THE CITY

THE FAMILIAR THE DANGER

THE DISENFRANCHAISEMENT

BE IT 1967 OR 1997

THE EDGE IS FAMILIAR

AND THE PIANO SETS UP THE AGITATION

THAT PROVOKES THE RHYTHM

THAT WRETCHES THIS POEM

RIGHT OUT OF THE PAST

AND THROWS IT ON THE FLOOR

FOR CLOSER OBSERVATION

TO CONGEAL TO AND YIELD

TO THE BILLOWING SAIL OF WORDS

J. Mac Donald

copyright 2005

REGRESSION 

AND I WAS DREAMING

AND THEN I WAS REMEMBERING

AND I WAS WALKING

AND I WAS WALKING

AND MY MOTHER WAS WITH ME

AND I WAS JUST A YOUNG GIRL

AND I WAS JUST A YOUNG GIRL

AND I WAS BACK THERE

J.L. HUDSON'S DEPARTMENT STORE

12 FLOORS OF MERCHANDISE

ON A WINTER'S NIGHT

WAITING FOR THE BUS

AND I WAS WITH MY MOTHER

AND IT WAS SNOWING

AND WE HAD PACKAGES

AND IT WAS COLD

AND DOWNTOWN DETROIT

SMELLED LIKE EXHAUST

FROM BUSSES

BUT OUR BUS WASN'T COMING

AND IT WAS SNOWING

AND IT WAS DARK

]AND IT WAS WET

AND WOODWARD AVENUE WAS BUSTLING

AND SNOW WAS SLUSH

AND BUSSES WERE SPLASHING

AND LIGHTS WERE SHINING

AND THE BUS WASN'T COMING

AND THEN IT WAS YEARS LATER

AND HUDSON'S WAS VACANT

AND I WAS BY MYSELF

IN THE 12-STORY EMPTY BUILDING

THE ONLY LIGHT

WAS IN FRONT OF THE ELEVATORS

THE ELEVATORS THAT ONCE HAD OPERATORS

AND WROUGHT IRON GATES

ISOLATION

GIANT CELL DOORS

INTERNMENT

SLAMMED SHUT

AND ONCE THERE WERE CHIMES IN THE STORE

AND PERFUMES

AND LIGHTS

AND SOUNDS

AND CROWDS OF PEOPLE

PEOPLE SHOPPING

PEOPLE IN A HURRY

AND IT WAS CROWDED

BUT THEN I WAS ALONE

ALONE ON THE 12TH FLOOR

AND ALL THE PEOPLE WERE GONE

AND I WAS SCARED

AND I STOOD THERE

WHY WAS I THERE

WHAT WAS I DOING

IN THIS EMPTY CAVERNOUS CASTLE

AND I WAS COLD

AND THERE WAS NO SOUND

AND I WAS CONFUSED

AND I STARTED RUNNING

MY FOOTSTEPS ECHOED

ON THE DUSTRY MARBLE FLOORS

AND I DIDNT KNOW WHY I WAS THERE

AND I WAS ALONE

AND THE LIGHTS IN FRONT OF THE ELEVATORS

WERE DIMMING

AND I REMEMBERED PILLOWS

AND STACKS OF SHEETS AND TOWELS

AND I WAS ONLY THREE FEET SIX INCHES TALL

AND THE LIGHTS WERE ON

AND THE CHIMES WERE CALLING

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HOLD MY MOTHER'S HAND

BUT I WAS SCARED

I DIDN'T WANT TO BE SEPARATED

AND THEN I WAS OLDER

AND I WAS THERE

BUT THERE WERE NO SHEETS OR TOWELS

AND THERE WERE NO ELEVATOR OPERATORS

AND I WAS RUNNING AND THERE WAS NOWHERE TO GO

AND THE WALLS WERE ANTISEPTIC GREEN

WITH TWENTY-FOOT IONIC COLUMNS

ONCE WHITE AND STATELY

NOW STAINED AND FORLORNED

AND THE FLOOR WAS UNKEMPT

AND I WAS TREMBLING

AND I WANTED TO CRY

I WAS SO ALONE

BUT I WASN'T ALWAYS ALONE

AND THE STORE WAS EMPTY

AND IT HADN'T ALWAYS BEEN EMPTY

AND I WAS SAD

AND I WAS SCARED

AND I FOUND A DOOR

AND I FOUND THE STAIRS

AND IT WAS DARK

AND AT FIRST I WAS CAUTIOUS

AND THEN I WAS SCARED

AND I WAS DESCENDING

FASTER AND FASTER

AND MY HEART WAS RACING

AND I REMEMBERED

ONCE I RAN DOWN TWENTY-THREE FLOORS

AND MY CALVES HURT FOR A WEEK

BUT I DIDN'T CARE

AND I HAD A RHYTHM

AND I HAD A PACE

AND THE STAIRWELL WAS BLACK

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP

BECAUSE I'D FEEL MY HEART RACING